Finding normal; sex, love, and taboo in our hyperconnected world

 

Title of the book: Finding Normal; Sex, Love and Taboo in Our Hyperconnected World 

Author: Alexa Tsoulis-Reay

Publisher: St. Martin's Press

Publishing Date: 2022

ISBN: 978-1-250-27919-4

Summary:

Alexa Tsoulis-Reay's Finding Normal is an author's up close tour of people who are using the Internet to challenge the boundaries of what's taboo and what it means to be normal.

Based on a popular series of candid interviews conducted for New York magazine’s human science column—"What It's Like"—Finding Normal explores the ways that real people are using the Internet to find community, forge connections, and create identity in ways that challenge a variety of accepted sexual norms. Ranging from the atypical to the shocking, each story in Finding Normal intimately immerses the reader in the world of a person who is grappling with a unique set of circumstances relating to sexuality.

Finding Normal at once celebrates the power of our current media moment for helping people rewrite the script for their lives and offers a warning about the danger of that seemingly limitless freedom to find yourself. Finding Normal shows the enduring power of the search for belonging—for humans and society. Like happiness or life purpose, finding normal is perhaps the definitive human struggle. 

Author Info:
(From book)

Alexa Tsoulis-Reay grew up in New Zealand. She spent her young adult years living in various countries and working a range of jobs: an investigator for an adult phone line, a complaints officr at a taxi regulator, a recruitment consultant, and a mystery shopper. After graduating from New York University's journalism program, she worked as a fact checker at New York magazine, eventually becoming a senior writer. She lives in Australia 

Personal Opinion:

To be honest, I am not quite sure how hyperconnectivity plays a role in these true stories, but the sense I get is of pushing boundaries and testing out the waters. I imagine if I was taking a psychology class today at either college or university, this might have been a required text because it asks the audience to examine, compassionately, what and why we have certain thoughts taboos through use of human element. In FINDING NORMAL, the author presents us with five stories; the first three stories, while taboo breaking, are not squeamish. It's the last two stories that share the honor. The first three stories deal with polyamory, dating a much older woman as well as asexualism/ aromanticism. The last two deal with consensual incest between a father and a daughter, and between a man and a horse. The stories are not sensationalized and are written compassionately. The author brings up a lot of good points and it's quite fascinating to learn about people who have different desires and thoughts than what is considered in 2020s as NORMAL. For a wild but compassionate side, pick up and read this book.  

4 out of 5
(0: Stay away unless a masochist 1: Good for insomnia 2: Horrible but readable; 3: Readable and quickly forgettable, 4: Good, enjoyable 5: Buy it, keep it and never let it go.)